


always you

by april_moon



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (idk if that's necessary but just in case!), (why am i surprised it's fuckin sad), Anyways, F/M, also this is literally my first fanfic ever, im so sorry, it's v short lmao, reveal fic I guess, this is literally just 1300 words of angst, tw: burn mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-19 16:11:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18137981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/april_moon/pseuds/april_moon
Summary: in a major akuma attack, ladybug--along with several civilians--dies. in the aftermath, chat learns what he was never supposed to know.





	always you

there was smoke. so much smoke. chat was choking on it, almost retching as he awoke, feeling bruised and dizzy on the street where he had apparently been knocked out.

something was wrong, he could feel it right away.

 _what had even happened?_ oh, right--an akuma attack, hawkmoth up to his usual nonsense. except this time, it had been different. the akuma had been much more serious than usual, not reacting to chat's puns as much, and with a less silly-looking suit and powers. he had put up a good fight--chat and ladybug had been at it for hours, and it was already the middle of the night when they began. at this point, chat could make out the faint pink glow of dawn in the gray sky, all but obscured by the smoke still lingering in the air.

_that's right. shouldn't ladybug have cast her miraculous cure by now, cleaning up the damage from the fight?_

_ladybug._ where was she?

he assumed the akuma had been defeated, as there was an almost eerie silence. his memories of the last bit of the fight were a bit hazy--the akuma shooting fireballs at them, screams from watching civilians, ladybug pushing him out of the way of a particularly deadly-looking one, a blinding flash, him being thrown back into this alley so hard he had blacked out until now.

as he slowly and painfully got himself up and walked into the street a block in front of him, he began hearing the sounds of... crying? a scream? _what was going on--was the fight not over?_ he began to jog, growing more and more worried as he drew nearer to the scene of the fight.

when he got there, it was destruction. chaos. there were people lying in the street, not moving, and other people kneeling over them or running towards them.

 _no,_ he thought. _it couldn't be._

_and where was ladybug?_

later, he watched the news in his room numbly, feeling as if all of this was a hallucination, a bad dream. it had to be. there was no way this was real.

nadja chamack looked grave, her eyes red as if she'd been crying, as she reported from the screen in front of him. _"As of yet, there is no sure count of the dead, but so far at least six victims have been found, most badly burned or suffocated. ladybug has yet to cast her cure to fix the wreckage, and neither she nor chat noir have been seen or heard of. the fact that there were victims at all is worrying--hawkmoth has never caused damage so permanent as this until now. this also raises other questions--"_ adrien reached over and shut off the screen, unable to hear any more.

_where was ladybug?_

the news only got worse. plagg looked grave as he told adrien, "i haven't sensed tikki since the fight. i usually get a general sense of where she is if she's within a certain range, which she is almost always in. this only happens if she's thousands of kilometers away.... or if her miraculous stones are no longer in use."

adrien refused to look at him as he replied, "there must be some other reason. ladybug must still be alive. she has to be."

later, he learned from a sobbing alya that marinette, dear, sweet, lovely marinette, was gone. she had, apparently, been one of the victims in the fight; her parents found her in the street with the other victims, her clothes tattered and severe burns all over her. he couldn't even cry for his friend--he still felt removed from his body, floating in space, as if nothing was real. he preferred it that way. if nothing was real, marinette wasn't dead. ladybug wasn't gone. he could pretend everything was fine, just for a little while.

_where, oh where was ladybug?_

the funeral was torture. his father allowed him to go, a look of sympathy and sadness sitting uncomfortably on his severe face. adrien sat next to nino and was glad of the human contact; he still felt lost, disconnected from reality. "you okay, dude?" nino asked quietly, his voice hoarse. adrien didn't trust himself to respond, simply nodding his head in response. they both knew it was a lie, but the nod meant he was still alive, at least. still holding on.

a deep, unutterable sadness was sharp in adrien's throat as the service progressed. kind, brave, shy marinette, who couldn't string two sentences together in front of him and yet somehow managed to stand up to chloe and protect her friends with more fire than adrien could have expected, who made incredible baked treats and even more amazing clothes, who had always been there for all her friends--for him. marinette was gone, and somehow that was almost worse than ladybug's disappearance. he couldn't pretend she was still alive. he couldn't hold out hope that he would see her again. and as awkward as marinette was--had been--around him, no matter how strained their relationship was for reasons he didn't quite grasp, she was still one of his closest friends. and now, she was gone. she had left, just like his mother, and he didn't know how life could go on without her.

at the end, marinette's parents stood up, obviously trying desperately to hold it together for the sake of appearances. "we have a very important announcement to make," tom said. his voice shook, and sabine took his hand, and a breath, as she looked out at all of them.

"we... we don't know if marinette would have wanted us to say this, but we felt it would be wrong not to," she said, closing her eyes briefly before looking out at them. "we know marinette would have been so honored to know that all of you came to her funeral, and she loved all of you so very much. she loved this city so much. in fact, she..." this time it was tom's turn to squeeze her hand in a steadying pressure. "marinette, our bright, clumsy, kind daughter, was ladybug, the hero of paris." at this, murmurs rippled through the crown, and adrien whipped his head up, staring at them. "i don't believe that she realized we knew who she was, but of course we noticed when she was missing during akuma attacks and when her excuses didn't quite make sense. she was trying to protect us, protect all of us, as she always did; but a mother always knows." at this point, a tear slid down sabine's cheek and she took a deep breath before continuing. "she--she sacrificed--" her voice broke. "marinette sacrificed her life for this city, and i am so proud to be--to have been her mother. marinette, i love you, and i am so, so proud of you." and with this, she and tom sat down again, among waves of whispers and the sounds of crying.

adrien sat stock still, staring straight ahead into nothing. _all this time. it's always been her. always,_ he thought. _but it wasn't supposed to be like this! i wasn't supposed to find out--you weren't supposed to die!_ adrien gave a great, gasping breath, and a wave of emotion crashed over him, drowning out the world. it was grief, and disbelief, and guilt, and something that felt almost like anger, and love. ladybug, whom he had looked up at for so long, had been desperately in love with since the day he met her. marinette, who was ladybug, who had sat behind him and stumbled beside him for so long--who had died. who had died, saving paris--saving _him_.

who was gone.

tears slid down his cheeks as he hid his face in his hands, finally releasing the emotion that had built up in him over the past couple of days. she was gone. she was gone. _she was gone._

and he was left, alive, alone.

she was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry haha this came to me and i wrote it in like an hour, didn't beta it or anything.... this is my first fic (although i've read quite a bit) and i hope it's okay!
> 
> (if it wasn't clear--in the fight, the akuma with fire powers had hit several civilians and was about to hit chat noir when ladybug pushed him out of the way, effectively receiving the hit meant for him. it killed her, but as she died, tikki did something to cause a blast of sorts that flung chat (and anyone else within range) about 100 meters away and cleansed the akuma. she detransformed when she died, so everyone thought she was just another civilian.)
> 
> this will probably stay just as a one-shot, but i may write other things in the future--we'll see!
> 
> i hope the story is still readable, even though there's no capitalization or anything :') i almost never do this, but for whatever reason it felt right. who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> thanks so much for reading & please leave kudos/comments if you'd like!! <3
> 
> EDIT 4/17/19  
> thank you all so much for 500 hits and 40 kudos in just a month!! it means a lot to me & honestly i'm amazed that so many people wanted to read my story. i hope it lived up to your expectations haha ^^;


End file.
